Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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