I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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