I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
