Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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