yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
