How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm just crazy horny about you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
