Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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