so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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