party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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