He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
