Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
