Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
