Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
