Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
