I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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