And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
