I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
