wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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