He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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