god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
