how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
