I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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