we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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