Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it hurts more in the daytime
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
