Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
