Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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