I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
