I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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