Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
