Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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