id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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