is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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