weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize