Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
