Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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