I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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