You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
her facebook's as public as her vagina
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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