What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Who died my cat blue again?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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