the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
