if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
my god I love twenty year old dicks
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
