I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
