Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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