he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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