So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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