Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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