Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
