forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
