the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
