Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
