ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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