Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
