Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
