I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
