From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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