Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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