i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just pynch a tree in the face
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize