there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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