I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is my gift to your gina
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
